January
29th, 2018
Children were going to sing for a program on Sunday.
Costumes were ready. We just needed white socks and booties.
I saw some
booties in front of the kindergarten when I went to take children on Thursday.
I ask teacher if I can try them for my children. They don’t fit... Teacher
looked into my eyes to understand the situation properly. I told we need
booties for half an hour on Sunday and added ‘’We would find a way.’’ I don’t
want to be a burden for anyone...
It had been
a long time since winter came to this country. I am not strong enough to go
somewhere with three children in this weather –except their school.
I think
about the children in the camp and which one would have white shoes. I don’t
bother at all. Thinking the things been done since now, this is nothing to be
done.
Friday.
Weather kind of says it’s forbidden to go out. It’s snowing, ground is iced over.
Someone knocks the door. Unable to talk and tears filled my eyes; my children’s
teacher is standing in front the door, a couple of white shoes in her hands...
She searched
and found somehow, somewhere. She gave the shoes to me and left.
After two
months, we moved to our own house. The day we were moving, Teacher Annica took
my children to her house for us to do things easily. They had fun I guess.
Children told about Teacher Annica’s cats a lot.
The bed’s
slats were broken when we were mounting them. Teacher Annica saw it and said ‘’I’ll
bring a new one.’’ She did as she said in the same week.
The next
day, I received a text message from her ‘’I can’t help you as I am ill today...’’
We didn’t
discuss for a time to do anything. But she was worried for not helping that day…
One day when
I went to kindergarten to take my children Teacher Annica gave me some papers
with pictures of household items. She wanted me to mark the ones I didn’t have.
My eyes filled with tears again and again, I couldn’t see the pictures… The
other week we came home with bags full of household items.
And today…
A text
message says ‘’I am free tomorrow evening, I can take the children so you can
do your housework easily.’’
Teacher
Annica is like a cartoon character with wings in her back and a magic wand in
her hand.
In my and my
children’s life, she is one of the kindness heroes…
Bilirmisiniz siz 40 yaşına gelmiş bir insanın ülkesini terkederken geriye bakıp iç çekmesini bilirmisiniz siz eşi (yani benim hanım olur du kendisi)tarafından bu süreçte gammazlanan terkedilen vede ihbar edip içeri girmesi için çabalayan bir kadına karşı çaresizliği yaşayan adamın iç hiriltisini bilirmisiniz hiç ülkeyi terkederken iki çocuğunü yaban ellere vasıfsız kollara vicdansız yüreklere bırakmak zorunda kalan bir babanın yürek yangınını bilmezsiniz nerden bileceksiniz yapamayınca insan nerden bileceksiniz bu belki yaşanmadan anlaşılmayacak bi imtihandı yaşadım şimdi kamp odalarında uzaklara bakıp çocuğunu özlemenin ne büyük bir imtihan olduğunu yürek dayanır mı onuda bilmiyorum tekleyen ritimlerı sessizce duyunca anlıyorum ozaman imtihan denilen meselenin ne kadar ağır olduğunu kardeşlerim ana baba belkide eş ile bir kadın ile imtihan olmak çok zormuş çok hele birde işin içinde masum canların olunca onlara mi üzülsem kendime mi üzülsem bilemedia peki ben ne yaptım oturdum zaman zaMan sessizce ağladım ağladım size acziyet gibi gelebilir ama derdim bu benim dedim derdime ağladım davam bu dedim döndüm davama ağladım sonra kaldırdım ellerimi Bunları veren Allaha şükür olsun diye yine ağladım açıldı tüm kapılar belki yarama Melhem olurdiye sardı her yarı güzellikler yeni bir dünya kuruluyor her yer bembeyaz ve de ak inşallah Bu dünyada beraber yaşarız tüm muhacirler ensarlar Yusuflar gaybubet kahramanları ile hep beraber tüm mazlumlar........... içimdeki sesi yazmaya çalıştım blogtakullanabilirsiniz eğer uygun görürseniz. Saygılar
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